Do I Resolve or Not?

In a little less than seven hours, we will be stepping into a new year in Atlantic Canada. People like Damian are already several hours into the new year, which is always a strange notion when you think about it a little bit. But what’s an even weirder notion is that it’s already been six years since we glided into Y2K.

As tradition wants, I will be attending the 10th annual Eggs & Roses party with the Queen of Sheba, the Grand Poobah of Culinary Delights, and other assorted guests. It will be a good evening and I look forward to it for the most part. But there is a little part of me that’s not looking forward to it.

I find a bit depressing the fact that I keep seeing the same hopes and aspirations appearing on my rose from year to year. And I think this realization is a bit more stinging this time because it’s the 10th consecutive year for this event. I do think I have evolved on a personal level, but on the professional level, I feel I haven’t moved forward as much as one would expect someone would in 10 years.

In turn, this realization probably explains why I’ve always been reticent to make new year resolutions. They can be such a letdown if you don’t succeed. Even looking back at my blog entry two years back, when I thought I was entering a pivotal year, is a bit of a letdown. I haven’t taken any step backwards; just not as many steps forward as I thought I would…

Despite this sentiment, I feel compelled to make resolutions for 2006. The very good prospects for a new job are leading me to believe I can make plans based on more than hope and optimism. I can imagine how I can emerge from my 40s, which I just started, and not feel as I do as I emerged from my 30s. So now, in no particular order…

I will try again in 2006 to quit smoking. I came as close as I ever have in 2005, so instead of looking at the failure, I ‘ll be taking what I’ve learned to finally succeed. I simply feel deep in my bones that I must quit if I want to reach my 50s.

I want to continue making sane eating choices. I’ve gain a few pounds in the last month — nothing even worth mentioning, really, but it’s showing me how easy it would be to slip right back to April 2004. As early as next week, I plan to apply the 80/20 rule: make good choices 80 percent of the time, and allow bad choices 20 percent of the time to keep my sanity and avoid going back to making bad choices 100 percent of the time.

I need to finally get over my fear of the gym, which I’ve been carrying since I was a kid. I’ve read several tales in the last year of guys who were exactly where I’m at (both physically and in their mind) but, in 12 to 18 months, have toned up admirably. I’ll never be super buff; I’ll never have a six-pack and pecs from here to Tuesday. But I would like to find out how it feels to be tighter. I suspect it should feel similar to how I remember feeling when I had a gut and how I feel now that I don’t have one (or hardly any). It’s hard to describe, and unlike the weight loss, I would be doing it more for myself. It would be a very selfish thing. I like not having a gut to rest my arm on. I like the way I feel sitting down. I like the way I feel lighter standing up. And I think I’d like feeling tighter. I think I would want a personal trainer, because I don’t know where to start and I don’t want to injure myself. I have no idea how much one would cost, but I think I might be able to afford something in 2006, which wasn’t the case these last few years.

I need to reverse my internal clock, which the job, if it materializes, may end up doing. I’m such a night owl that I panic at the thought of a meeting before noon. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever NOT be a night owl, but this going to bed at 6 a.m. and getting up at 2 p.m. is getting to me. I’m tired of it. It’s dysfunctional.

I want to travel a bit more and take more advantage of Junior. RCP has been pestering me for years to go visit him in Toronto. Cleopatrick, I think, is no longer in Montreal but I’d like to visit him wherever he now is in southwestern Quebec. I’d like to hang out a bit more with J in Montreal. I’d like to visit with The Quad and Hiker & Bello in Fredericton at least once in 2006 for more than a few hours. I’d like to go terrorize BeeGoddessC more often. I’d like to send more time with my mother, just because… And, and, and… you get the picture.

I think that’s all. 🙂