AIM Conversation with BeeGoddessM

TextStyleMan: I can’t believe you bothered to take a picture of me washing the dishes tonight.
BeeGoddessM: i just couldn’t believe it! i had to take a picture of that!
TextStyleMan: Funny thing, noticed how fast I am at it when I finally decide to do them?
BeeGoddessM: yeah
TextStyleMan: Well, you’re not going to believe this, but when I got back to the apartment after driving you home, I washed the few that were left.
BeeGoddessM: omg
TextStyleMan: And then…
TextStyleMan: I swept the kitchen floor.
BeeGoddessM: OMG!
TextStyleMan: But that’s not all.
TextStyleMan: Then I figured, “What the heck”…
TextStyleMan: …and I mopped the kitchen floor, too!
BeeGoddessM: fuck off!

I’ve been laughing at that “fuck off” for a week now. 🙂

You see, I never claimed in this blog that I’m anything but a domestic disaster. Some would even say I’m a slob when it comes to my apartment. Do notice the emphasis on “apartment,” as I don’t think anyone would consider me a slob in any other respect, because I’m not.

Something changed, however, when I moved downstairs last month. The place was so fresh and clean when I moved in that I felt as though I was literally given an opportunity to start on a clean slate — pardon the pun. It’s also brighter in here, plus I got rid of my ratty sectional sofa and bought myself a new, queen-size bed. Cognitively I’ve always known that the trick to avoiding “domestic disaster” status is not to let anything pile up, but, for some reason, I’ve never been able to put that trick into practice. Until now.

Overall, this move has definitely been a good thing. Losing the fans from hell has been great — so much so that I’ve been overlooking the deficiencies in this new place, of which there are several.

I feel the move’s a milestone of sort, which is appropriate in the context of how I’ll be turning 40 in August. During the move, I quite literally threw out my 30s. Out went all the material (except one file folder) I created and used while teaching. I also threw out a forest of paper I’d been keeping. I think the reason I accumulate so much paper is because it is the only tangible product of so much hard work over the years, and I usually can’t bring myself to throw out work.

There’s no need for all that paper now. For instance, I don’t intend to ever go back to teaching. I had been keeping my teaching-related material on the thought that maybe I would some day; I knew it would all need serious updating, but I kept it so that I would have a base to start with. But fuck it! I won’t go back there, so what’s the point?!

I’m also seriously thinking again about quitting smoking. (Oh no, here he goes again!) This time I’m thinking about giving hypnosis a shot. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. When you think about how I’m already literally burning away $250 a month on cigarettes, why not give it a try? If it works, I’ll be off nicotine cold turkey; if it doesn’t, I’ll give the patch another whirl.

All of this seems to be part of a reinvention of Maurice, the guy who’s turning 40 this year and knows that (a) he’s in a bit of a rut and (b) he can’t live through the next decade as he did that last one. It’s a small thing …but I believe losing those 25-30 pounds since this time last year has been the trigger mentally. I had grown to have a fatalistic attitude with regard to my weight, assuming it just goes up and up and up with most middle-aged guys. The fact I was able to disprove that to myself has led me to believe that other good changes ARE possible.

So here’s to making good changes in life!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash that dish and mug I left in the sink… 😉