Saddam Now Runs a Convenience Store

Two Lebanese brothers run a modest convenience store in my delightful Hydrostone neighbourhood of Halifax. One a particularly frigid day early this winter, Indiana Jones dropped by to buy a pack of smokes. He was wearing a heavy coat, sporting a red star on his lapel — a leftover prop from K19: The Widowmaker, filmed in part in Halifax a few years ago — and one of those fur hats we’ve all come to associate with the Russians.

The brothers know all their regulars and speak to all of them — all of us — as though we’re long-lost friends. They’re wonderful, warm, funny and friendly. On the day Indiana went to their store decked out as he was, one of the brothers laughed and started to refer to Indiana as Mikhail Gorbachev. And without missing a beat, Indiana greeted him as Saddam, and the other brother as Mu’ammar.

So you heard it at aMMusing first: Saddam now runs a convenience store in Halifax.

And, for the record, they still call me Maurice, a name they like because they have a brother back in Lebanon with the same name.

Disclaimer: There is NOTHING about the brothers to suggest they’re in any way a threat to anyone’s security just because they immigrated to Canada from the Middle East. In fact, I believe they’re Christian, not Muslim, if that really matters. Still, I doubt their dark hair and olive skin would make transit through U.S. airspace very easy…