Disjointed & Excited
— The Bush Whacker is in town and is coming over for dinner this evening. I think it’s been nearly two years since I last saw her. Tonight there’ll be major catching up on what we’ve been up to!
— Last night, Jain was over for our last “Whine & Wine” before I head off to Mexico. El Poema called while she was here, but unfortunately Skype was misbehaving for the second time in a row so the connection was touch and go. Although we dub our Friday-night get-togethers “Whine & Wine,” we really don’t do much whining. Except, perhaps, whining about Skype last night.
— I placed an order for Mexican pesos yesterday morning, which will be ready for pickup on Wednesday morning — the day before I leave. Do you think I could have waited more to the last minute?
— A wicked snowstorm is coming our way tomorrow and Monday. So long as the nasty weather happens now and doesn’t disrupt my travel plans on Thursday, I’m fine with that. I’m also bringing Junior to the garage on Monday morning.
— That said, with winter so firmly started and so early this year, I’m certain my arrival in Mexico will be a shock to the system, not to mention the return from Mexico.
— I’m going to start packing gradually tomorrow. Wednesday’s going to be weird: I have to work that day and I have to be at the airport no later than 4:45 Thursday morning. I’m going to have to come up with a plan to get a bit of sleep before I fly across the continent. I know myself: I can’t sleep on a plane.
— I can’t deny it: I have a knot of butterflies in my stomach. When there were 90, 80, 70 or 60 days to wait, going to visit El Poema was still a bit of an abstraction. But now that there’s only 4 days to wait, not counting today, I’m in total “Oh My Gawd” mode. I have no doubt about what I feel for El Poema nor do I doubt what he feels for me, but the butterflies are a sign of a little part of me asking, “What the fuck am I doing?!” I know that part of the answer is that I’m living up to my resolution not to accumulate regrets, like not following my heart and one day asking myself, “What if I had …” But the enormity of what I’m about to do is really hitting home now, a feeling that I know BeeGoddessM remembers very well. In fact, the parallels are remarkably similar, right down to the timeline.
— I have to swear off looking at Montreal apartment ads until I come back. That’s just making me feel more overwhelmed. Next to nothing for April has been posted yet, and both the price range and not knowing anymore which neighbourhood I’ll pick is stressing me out. Plus, the day job has been busy and stressful in its own right, and whomever will be covering for me while I’m gone hasn’t been determined yet. (Although that’s not something for me to worry about, I can’t help thinking about it.)
— Overall, everything that’s happening is very, very good (except for the work-related stress which I can objectively say is diminishing as I’m getting settled into my new responsibilities). I think it’s just that there’s too much happening all at once. Hence why I feel disjointed — in the “all over the place” sense of the word — and excited at the same time.