Resisting Trouble

Awaken around 8 o’clock on this Sunday morning by Dr. Snake Oil Salesman‘s girlfriend’s heavy stomping, which has earned her the nickname from me of Fee Fi Fo Fum, I idly wondered as I forced myself back to sleep if I should send him a message via Facebook — you know, saying that I only have three months left once I return from Mexico and could they kindly make an effort not to grate on my nerves as much as they have been. I mean, from now on, the hours I keep at the day job are as if I were in the Eastern time zone (one hour behind) and the job now consists of a lot more writing than before, which requires more concentration — at least from me. So, the stomping and the music in the middle of the afternoon, let alone the same when I’m bone tired in the evening, is really making me miserable and pissy …or, as some might say, more miserable and pissier.

I didn’t think of jumping right into Facebook when I got up later this morning, and when I decided to look him up late this afternoon, I lost my resolve: it was a stupid idea that came to me when I was half asleep but deeply resenting having been awaken so early on a Sunday, and I really shouldn’t go there. However, what I found interesting is that he changed his privacy settings in Facebook so that now his profile is pretty well wide open for anyone to see. So, now it’s taking every ounce of restraint I have within me not to post a link to it with some kind of rude caption. My dislike has become THAT visceral.

Confrontation is just not my thing, though. Sometimes I harbour such nasty ideas, but then I just can’t bring myself to pass to action. I don’t know if it’s because there’s a part of me who’s not convinced I have grounds to complain, or that I’m afraid of the repercussions. Or that I think I’ll totally lose it. But at the same time, I get angry with myself for not standing up for myself.

And look how often I’ve bitched about him! Clearly it’s bothering me. If it were occasional, then, let go, right? But whenever they’re home, I know about it? Or when they’re not, I actually notice it? That, to me, seems a bit much.