Some 30 years ago, had you told me that some 30 years later I would have absolutely no desire to do anything “special” at Christmas, I would have protested that there’s no way on earth I would feel that way. I remember how I looked upon a friend of the family as an alien with two heads when he declared that Christmas was “just another day on the calendar” for him.
I couldn’t imagine anyone feeling that way. For me as a kid, Christmas was a time of warmth. More than the gifts, the colourful lights, the special treats and Grand-papa‘s annual visit were the things I looked forward to. There was never any horrific Yuletide drama in my family, so why I would come to care so little about Christmas is a bit of a mystery.
This year, I plan to treat Christmas like an ordinary Sunday, albeit a Sunday when nothing is opened except the movie theatres. I haven’t a single Christmas ornament in the apartment again this year, and I don’t feel the least bit sad or sorry for myself about it. I’ll make the expected calls to family and friends tomorrow and have dinner at BeeGoddessM and Stephanie’s, but that’s it. What’s more, unlike recent years when I would rent a bunch of movies, this year I feel like getting a bit of work done, and I won’t be the least bit sentimental or resentful about it.
I think I’m feeling anti-social in good part because of my day job. I spend about 90 percent of my day speaking with strangers/clients on the phone, which is an exercise that requires a lot of patience. Hence I’m out of patience. I just figured out that I completed over 270 “conversions” since I started my job, so when you consider that a single conversion can take anywhere between 30 minutes and 10 hours, not counting the time it takes to get clients to commit to an appointment, you can perhaps better understand why I just want to isolate myself.
In short, I just don’t have it in me to be sociable only because we’re expected to be so on this day. It’s not even that I’m being the Grinch: he cared enough to be annoyed by Christmas, whereas I don’t even care. The only idle thought the arrival of Christmas has aroused in me is that it feels as though it was only a month ago that I was able to go to the beach and maybe two months ago that I started the day job. In other words, what’s remarkable to me is that time seems to be flying by faster than ever.