aMMusing

How do I love Canada? Oh, let me count the ways! But certainly one of them is that the nation has declared Tommy Douglas, an unabashed socialist, as “The Greatest Canadian.”

Tommy Douglas’s legacy as a social policy innovator lives on. Social welfare, universal Medicare, old age pensions and mothers’ allowances — Douglas helped keep these ideas, and many more, watching as more established political parties eventually came to accept these once-radical ideas as their own.

Not only did the more mainstream parties accept his ideas, but also Canadians as a whole have, in less than a generation, come to view universal health care in particular as a Canadian birthright.

And the day after the declaration, one of the most right-wing American presidents in history comes avisiting. You can beat a contrast like that.

It should be noted that the Top 10 list has been met with a great deal of criticism. The fact Don Cherry made it to the top 10 is beyond laughable. Also, it didn’t go unnoticed that all of the top 10 were (a) white and (b) male, seven of which dead. However, I think the final top 3 are a good reflection of Canadian views and values: the first (Douglas) has shaped our view of life in Canada; the second (Fox) was a truly inspiring hero, and the third (Trudeau), with his flair and sophistication, was what many Canadians wished they were.

You know, I can’t tell you how happy I am about the fact I have absolutely no plans for Christmas this year. You’ll recall that, in years past, I would have to go to Moncton for the sake of my parents. I love ‘em to pieces, but I’ve long viewed Christmas as a downtime to be resented.

But this year is different. With my father having passed away last March, my sister decided it would be better if Mom didn’t spend Christmas in Moncton this year and thus convinced her to go to Ottawa. What’s more, my sister has warned her little clan that given that she has convinced “Grand-maman” to join them, my sister will be having a réveillon and everything just like Mom used to do when we were young. That’s good because Mom still likes Christmas, the highlight of which is invariably seeing kids opening their gifts. When we were kids, the family’s finances were tight but we would never have guessed, for Mom had a way of wrapping gifts in such a way that there seemed to be tons and tons of gifts under the tree on December 24th. And something about going to mass at midnight — when midnight mass was still held at midnight — was simply magical …although that could have been because, as a kid, I knew the opening of the gifts would happen immediately afterwards, followed by a feast of tourtière, sandwiches and bûche de Noël.

No, I can’t say that my memories of Christmas as a child are bad. Quite the opposite. But now the thought of spending a quiet Christmas alone, unobliged in any way, is striking me as a most delicious prospect. The Queen of Sheba has invited me to spend Christmas with her brood, but I’ve already indicated that I’m thinking about taking a pass — nothing personal. I just want to be alone, left alone, and that’s okay. My sister told me as we were driving from Halifax to Moncton a month ago that, having had such Christmases herself, she understood precisely where I’m coming from. The trick, I guess, is that I don’t mind my own company. So this year I’m poised to have the kind of non Christmas I’ve longed for. All I’ll have to do is make sure BeeGoddessM‘s Beau the Cat doesn’t starve while her mom abandons her…

The Theatre Department within which BeeGoddessM works is presenting Metamorphoses this week. The BeeGoddess maintains the department’s website (mostly with TextStyleM, of course!) and has taken and posted these amazing pictures of the rehearsal and the building of the set. Check it out: I think it’s going to be an excellent production. And if you’re in the Halifax area, you should definitely consider seeing this play.

The first standards-complaint TextStyleM-driven website is going to go live on or around December 1st, a full month ahead of schedule, and it seems from the comments that have come in that the client’s impressed with the new site and the fact it got put together so quickly.

Promise low, deliver high. I’m glad it has made the client happy, for I’m happy, too.

Shortly after George W. Bush won the presidential election in the United States in early November, Canada’s Prime Minister Martin called him to offer his congratulations. The Canadian media was in a buzz, for apparently Martin had invited Bush for a visit, and Bush tentatively accepted. About two weeks later it was made official: Bush was coming for a formal visit to Ottawa on November 30 and December 1.

And then the shocker came last Wednesday: He will also be swinging by Halifax on his way out, along with Colin Powell (I can abide him somewhat) and Condoleezza Rice (she makes me want to gag). Officially he’s expected to give a speech to thank Atlantic Canadians for their hospitality when all flights were grounded on September 11, 2001. Indeed, our geographical location on the northwestern edge of the Atlantic made us the closest and most logical place to land in a hurry.

But there was quite a bit of flap shortly afterwards, for when George “Don’t Forget Poland” Bush listed countries he wished to thank for their support in the aftermath of that horrible day, he missed Canada. When this was pointed out, Canadians were made to feel that they were being silly once again. Why thank people whom we consider family, damage controllers tried to say; the gratitude is implied. Then in the winter of 2003 came the coup de grâce that put a chill on Canada/US relations: the announcement by lame-duck Prime Minister Chrétien that, in keeping with the opinion of the majority, Canada would not join military intervention in Iraq.

Now comes the official thank you for our hospitality from Mr. Bush, more than three years late. As you can imagine, few of us here are impressed.

In fact, as with most places Bush goes, protests are brewing. It’ll be interesting to see how that’ll work out, as those who surround and protect him have a way of shielding him from such protests. By no means am I saying that he should be put in harm’s way while he’s here, if only because I don’t want quiet little Halifax, Nova Scotia, to become infamous in American history. But I do find it discouraging that he’s not made to see how few are those who think very much of him and his administration’s policies, thereby showing him that the “politcal capital” he believes he has is not as great as he deludes himself into thinking. Moreover, I look forward to seeing the extent to which Canadians’ right to protest will be curtailed during the visit of an reviled American president.

But then, who am I but a commie pinko Canadian.

I’m one of those people who doesn’t like it when the phone rings. I just don’t. Whether I’m sleeping or working or just watching TV, I don’t like how the phone intrudes. As a consequence, I’ve been known not to rush to the phone if I’m in bed, and if it rings outside normal business hours and I don’t feel like taking the call, I just let the voice mail pick it up. I have no qualms in letting the phone ring, most of the time. And I’m not the kind of guy who would ever answer the phone when I’m …err …making out (I would think perhaps because it doesn’t happen often enough ).

The reason I’ve come to this attitude is in good part because I receive far too many calls from telemarketers, and wrong numbers. Or should I say, “wrong number” (singular). Take a look at this page and scroll down to the Halifax Robie Street location of this business. My phone number is exactly one digit off that location (though I won’t tell you which digit). Consequently, often when I pick up the phone, I get a long silence followed by a tentative, “Peter?” Just like a tape recording, I invariably reply (sometimes pleasantly, sometimes with annoyance), “I think you’re trying to reach Speedy, right? Their number is… Mine is…” A few then astutely remark, “Oooo… You must get a lot of this!”

I do.

Another reason why I’ve come to view the phone as an annoyance is that I’ve always been an incorrigible night owl. But it’s even more so now because I get my best work done at night, when the ventilation system from hell is off. There used to be a time when I would feel guilty if the phone rang in the morning while I was still (understandably) in bed, having turned in at 5 a.m. or later — so guilty, in fact, that I would answer the call even though I could barely speak through the fog of sleep and with my tongue feeling like a slab of sandpaper. I’m worthless until I have a good piss, a good teeth brushing, a huge mug of coffee and two cigarettes …and even there it’s still touch-and-go for a while. Last night was no exception as I worked through refining access to HTML snippets via TextStyleM, as I’ve come to realize that in some instances, not even a site’s designated head webmaster should be allowed to work on customized forms I’ve created.

All this to say that it was almost 2 o’clock when I got up today, which is a bit later than usual …but hey! It’s Saturday; I deserve a break. By the time the phone rang at 2:30, I had some coffee in me, so I was able to speak, not bark. I half expected it might be Indiana Jones or BeeGoddessM, or perhaps even my mother.

I couldn’t have been further off. To my great surprise and pleasure, it was a fellow HM client, Damian, calling completely out of the blue from Melbourne, Australia!

Well, okay, from a suburb of Melbourne but, given the scale on which we’re talking here, close enough.

I’m still shocked, shocked I say! When I told Indiana Jones about the call, I think he wondered, a bit paranoid, if in fact it was Crocodile Dundee who’d rung me. I assured him it wasn’t. For her part, Stephanie‘s reaction was precisely what I expected: “Cool!”

In all seriousness, though, it was so much fun hearing and learning more about Damian, calling from a land I so dearly want to visit, and hearing him speak in that most delightful accent (though I’m sure to his ears, my accent must be pretty thick). Here you have two guys living at the opposite end of the planet, both having learned PHP and MySQL the hard way and now earning a living off this learning, brought together, so to speak, by forum discussions at the Web host we share and this blog. Twelve years ago, when I was still the managing editor of Atlantis, something like this would have been nearly unthinkable.

You’ve made my day …weekend… Heck! You’ve made my whole damn week and then some, Damian! Thank you for that!

Xkot once claimed, tongue in cheek, that it’s a “scientific fact” that “People who run DOS attacks have tiny penises and smell funny.” If that’s the case, I wonder what that makes of those who created that MT spam bombs that posted 1,315 messages in my blog last night while I was sleeping. Sometimes, when I’m awake and at my computer, I can nip such an attack before it gets that far. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that posted more than 200 messages.

It does leave one wondering, though. Wouldn’t the annoyance these people cause make the receivers even less likely to purchase their wares? But I guess that’s not how these people think about it.

You’ll recall that I wrote to Telco about a month ago and, in my rant, I mentioned that I had “gleefully unsubscribed” from its online newsletter. Well, guess what came in today via my address at Telco! Part of the disclaimer on the end of each issue of that blasted newsletter reads:

If you would prefer not to receive future [Newsletter]s from us, send a blank message to: unsubscribe@[telco]. However, please note that you will still receive informational emails relating to [Telco] Services. Should you wish to contact us with comments or questions, please click here.

A bunch of empty words, obviously.

Yes, I did send a blank message to that unsubscribe address. And then I did “click there” to give Telco a piece of my mind. Is there some kind of circular reasoning happening at Telco? Indeed, I’m being told I can unsubscribe from the newsletter, but even if I do so, I will continue receive “informational emails.” Is Telco then turning around and branding its newsletter an “informational email,” thereby nullifying any request to be unsubscribed from it?

Sorry if I seem to be making a big deal out of nothing. It is, after all, just one more message to automatically delete from the 30 to 60 I receive daily at that address. But it seems to me that Telco is not at all committed to what it says.

I’ll just try once again to unsubscribe…

Forget the bellyaching that the U.S., not Canada, was the one to be attacked on 9/11/01. Remember the outpouring of grief and sympathy from around the world towards the U.S. following that horrific attack. Among the saddest legacies of 9/11 is how the terrorists won in drastically bringing the current administration to make a mockery of the phrase “land of the free” via the Patriot Act.

I know one should never say never, so I won’t. But for all the talk about Canadians being meek, weak and boring, I can’t imagine a time soon when we would stand by passively while our Charter rights would be so compromised. And in that, I think, is where Canada’s strength resides: Truly the “True North Strong and Free.”

I’m afraid of attracting bad karma by saying this, but I believe that the blasted Patriot Act has got to start biting more conservatives in the ass. More of those “if you’ve done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about” supporters of the Patriot Act have got to get a really bad taste of their own medicine to understand the error of their ways. A bit like how the hawkish gay blogger Andrew Sullivan ended up supporting Kerry because of the GOP’s initiatives against gay marriage…

Meanwhile, there’s been a lot of talk post U.S. election about “blue states” versus “red states” and how the inhabitants of the red states must be ignorant or stupid. There’s also been a lot of talk about the rebirth of the Moral Majority in the U.S. This blog entry, written by someone who was brought up in a fundamental Christian environment, provides some interesting insights. I would argue that one doesn’t have to have been brought up in such an environment to have the attitude described therein. If those attitudes are normative around you, you’re more likely to adopt them and govern yourself according to them. Orthodoxy is always the path of least resistance.

I still receive a copious amount of spam daily, courtesy of my ISP’s inaction. I just download the influx once or twice a day and pitch it immediately. One thing I will say about spam, though. If it weren’t for it, I never would have known what MILFs are. And I never would have known that some grown ups refer to women’s breasts as “titties.” Frankly, that word strikes me as one that should only belong in the vocabulary of a child. The thought it might turn on an adult just seems …wrong.

Very wrong.

Disturbingly wrong.

I-think-I’m-going-to-be-sick wrong.